A real introduction

Well you are going to have to excuse me I am just warming up here. This is a very new concept to me and I am not yet comfortable telling the story as me so I am going to do some introductions so that I may refer to people as a name rather husband, son, ex-husband.  I will not change details of occurrences’ and yes my life can be that crazy!  I also used to write lots of poetry and this is my first go at some short stories. I really hope to gain a following and some support as we all need some of that. 
 

Let’s start with introduction you to my family :)

Myself in my 30's: Juliana

Husband in his 30's (of almost 5 years together for almost 9 years since Mads was 4): Thor

Son almost 14 starting High School: Mads

Ex-Husband (my son's father previously married for 2 years together for 6): John

Anyone else will be introduced along the way.

 We all now live in New England originally from Mid-Atlantic States. The three of us moved here after I graduated from nursing school to start my new career in new surroundings which was a dream of mine to be here. When I was younger we used to vacation here and I wanted nothing more than to live in the peaceful serene surroundings of New England. I am an avid winter sports enthusiast so is Thor and we wanted Mads to have as much opportunity as possible to be outdoorsy. I grew up less than a 5 minute walk to the beach and Atlantic Ocean in a resort city. Although I came up here with a career Thor had to leave his behind because he was in the Union and that is just not big where we live and work for that was scarce. I volunteer at a local mountain that gives us all a season pass for winter snow riding (I am a huge Warren Miller fan). From the beginning I have been trying to instill into Mads my sense of love for the outdoors, which has made me hit a brick wall at times. Turns out, Mads is much happier staying inside watching youtube, and playing video games.

I meet Thor while I was waitressing in a bar and he was trying to cure a toothache. This was mere months after I left John. When we met we were almost immediately in love. I gravitated to him for some reason because it was not like me: I wasn’t looking for love; but he was playing a bar game with another dude sitting next to him. I came up to him to ask what they were doing. Ironically I gave my number to both men. I only wanted to hear back from Thor but the other one returned the call first. Turned out that man was a police officer and really freaked me out when he came to my house in his police fatigues fully loaded with gun and all, the last time I saw him! About a week later Thor called, I had almost given up hope. We went out and hit things off right away. He had me laughing all night; we even managed to spend the night together without "sleeping" with each other. The next day we went to a park with my young Mads and had an even greater time. From then on we were almost inseparable.  I was in the last few weeks of my first semester of nursing school. I was going through a lot of turmoil with school demands regarding my newly separated status with John and my family who just had to get involved.  Thor gave me strength to get through physically, emotionally and financially that helped me get my grades back on track.

I met John in high school and we were great friends before our relationship. We experienced lots of first together. We were young when we had Mads both under 20 he was finishing his senior year in high school when I got pregnant and I had graduated a half year prior. I was going to College at the time and was not into it and just stopped going knowing no better than to withdrawal which I later had to fix to even get into nursing school. I was very happy about having a baby, but we decided not to get married right away. Instead we waited and then got married. To this day I feel as though I only married him for the following reasons: being young afraid now I had a child I would never get another man, and pressure because he was Mads father. We were already not even sleeping together in any sense of the word. I was in my young 20's and felt like I had made a huge mistake and started on my path to Registered Nursing because I knew that I would never be with him forever and needed to make something of myself. I didn't want to risk becoming a single mother with qualifications to waitress for the rest of my life; I wanted more for him. Things were kind of dormant during those 2 years. I felt as if I was a single mom anyway: we did not do many things together at all. Physical attraction to him was nonexistent to the point where he really started to disgust me. I went away on a trip with my son camping and met a guy there. We got along really well and spent that trip just hanging out (I did not cheat on my husband). His name was Roger. Roger and I then spent lots of time on the phone for a few weeks then I could not hold on any longer. I went away to spend some time with Roger my family knew and was covering for me, helping me watch Mads (again no physical cheating just friendship but we both really wanted it). Roger gave me what I needed which was confidence in knowing that I could find someone else, and I needed to find someone else because I was not happy; but the idea of being alone scared the crap out of me. I came home from that weekend and finally made John aware of the fact that I was not happy and I needed a divorce. We were actually able to discuss Mads and agreed upon arrangements for him to stay with me and he could see him anytime. There was even a short spurt where we kind of got back together for a day or two (after I met Thor even, Thor and I had a problem and broke up I got back with John out of sympathy and quickly realized that one!)

Mads and Thor really hit things off in the beginning. Their relationship was almost instantaneously strong. Mads unprovoked started calling Thor, Dad. John gained wind of that and put a quick end to it and this action started to invert Mads feelings towards Thor as wrong, and something he wasn't allowed to do by John. His father's actions of not allowing their relationship continue to blossom, develop, mature and beautify like it should: He put a gag on that!  Despite this Mads and Thor continued to grow but he never called him Dad again.

We all worked hard for years to keep the family as normal (or what we thought should be normal). Almost every Christmas was spent with John sleeping over either himself or if he had a girlfriend she would come too. Overnight visits would happen during holidays or just to visit; especially after we moved to New England.  All of us (except Mads who we all did it for) were a bit uncomfortable but it always worked without incident. Thor felt a saint for doing this, John felt entitled to this, and I felt just plain old weird and Switzerland like throughout the process: each wearing an explicit poker face. Mads just loved this and for that I did too. It was probably least difficult for me. Thor may have said things in bed John could have heard if he really tried that were less than desiderate, especially if he heard it. We worked out everything even moving away from each other without courts' arbitration.