First Mother's LIL Helper Introduction

This is my first go at blogging. Let me tell you a little about myself. First of all I am a wife and mother of a teenager.  Well see that’s the thing because I have not been getting along well with my son and it is breaking my heart. You see his father and I divorced 8 or 9 years ago. I was a young mom having my son at age 19 and I was one of the few young moms who saw becoming a mother as a reason to make my life better so I returned to school when he was 3 and successfully completed and am now a Registered Nurse. He used to live with me until a year in a half ago when some horrible things went down (that I plan on explaining later). I still retain custody of him and this is something his father and I did without the courts. I have been struggling with his father on custody ever since. This summer was supposed to be my time with him when yesterday erupted. You see his father and I have been communicating strictly with email because found that we would just argue over the phone. Well his father called me and threatened me two days ago and stated that next year I won't have quite so much time with my son because I was unable to get my son to another state to see his grandparents (on my side). He was still going to go down but it would only be for approx a week instead the two or more weeks like he wanted. I felt that a week was plenty of time to spend and since a year in a half ago I have only been able to see my son on holidays and summer which adds up to approx 2 months out of the year and that is just not enough. Well needless to say this just put my fragile personality over the edge. My ex also accused me of putting my son last behind me and my husband’s needs which really hurt. I called my son down to talk and he said that he did not feel that way about me. Well let’s just say some hurtful things were said and that made the day on edge. So we watched a movie but barely spoke the rest of the night. Then yesterday came. We barely spoke in the morning, my husband and I ran out to the store and decided that when I came back I needed to straighten things out with my son so I called him out to talk. Well this didn't work out well. He got so frustrated and angry that he started crying. Then he called his father and got picked up. Now my summer with him is over and I feel so hurt and pains in my heart sooooo bad that I can't deal with it. I started this blog to try to help me cope with my difficult situation and as I said before there is more to this story which I just can't get into right now. I just want my son back right now. My heart hurts :(